The Tycoon Report

No Bank-Shot at the World Bank

After ten strong years at the helm of the World Bank, James Wolfensohn announced plans to step down on May 31 of this year.

You'll never guess who's on the short list to replace him.

 MEMO FROM THE OFFICE OF DYLAN JOVINE:

World Bank Headquarters 1818 H Street, N.W. Washington DC 20433

To: James D. Wolfensohn, President From: Dylan P. Jovine, Fallen Angel Stocks Re: Your Potential Replacement(s)

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But enough about us. Let me tell you the real reason I'm writing. I happen to be a big fan of the World Bank. Any organization (if managed correctly) whose mission it is to fight global poverty is ok in my book. And since you took the reins as President of this fine institutiuon 10 years ago, the World Bank has indeed been managed correctly.

To borrow from the magazine The Economist, under your guidance, the World Bank today "does more to fight poverty than ANY other public body." Even U.S. Treasury Secretary/ Cheney puppet John Snow almost sounded original when he praised your accomplishments during the past 10 years as "historic."

Which brings me to my next point. By now it's well known that you're stepping down as President on May 31. Of course I understand. After a decade at the helm you're ready for a new challenge. A fresh start. A different group of begging bureaucrats. And a lot of people want your job.

According to the New York Times, the top 3 people on the "short list" to replace you is:

1. Paul "Wolfie" Wolfowitz, deputy secretary of defense; 2. Randall L. Tobias, global AIDS coordinator for the White House; and 3. John B. Taylor, under secretary of the Treasury for International Affairs.

Up until Wednesday I was cool with the list. Sure I wouldn't consider any a Mother Teresa-type. But I certainly think each has the ability to create a whole new set of client-states permanently indebted to the United States.

But then - seemingly out of nowhere - came an addition to the list that I wasn't expecting. An addition so - how shall I say it? - "surprising" that I had to have it read to me - thrice. The name was none other than Carleton Fiorina, the former CEO of Hewlett-Packard (SYM: HPQ).

In a matter of days she went from the rear of the pack to the front of the pack. From tear drops and chocolate to bloated bellies and mud. Just like Ah-nold.... She's back! Maybe it's just me here Mr. Wolfensohn, but doesn't this strike you as a wee bit ironic?

I mean, how is it possible that Carly Fiorina - a person directly responsible for destroying so much wealth - is put in charge of an organization designed with the sole purpose of creating wealth? Wasn't it just 3 weeks ago that she was forced to "resign" from her disastrous stint as CEO of HP? A stint that was highlighted by the disastrous purchase of Compaq. A purchase so large - $24 Billion - that it dwarfs the combined GDP's of the 8 largest beneficiaries of aid that your organization provides!

So, while I am still confused as to who put Carly's name on the ballot, I have come up with a theory. Perhaps the people responsible for floating her name to the World Bank are former shareholders of Compaq.

That's right.

Maybe they think the job she did raising THEM from imminent poverty on a corporate level qualifies her to tackle the problem on a state level. In that aspect her candidacy is certainly feasible. It's just too bad she didn't do it on behalf of the Hewlett-Packard, the company that actually hired her to do it.

Remember, you are what you read.